At about the time everyone in the States was sitting around an abundant Thanksgiving table, I was sitting on my bed looking out the window at the squirrels gathering nuts on the leaf-covered lawn. There was an eerie quiet on my street. I suspect even the homeless had someone with whom to share this holiday meal. I, however, was alone.
Though the divorce decree states I have the children this year for Thanksgiving, I was foolish to 'let' them have the children this year. Even before my trip to Ireland was finalised, I planned on being together with the children this week. Somehow I let them convince me to give the children to them as they said something about having lots of family over since they would be newly married.
I imagined what the house would be like if Mario was here celebrating his first Thanksgiving. There would be laughter and joy as well as the occasional arguing as such are our natures. Mostly there would be contentment in our being together as a family. As the kind of family which stays together regardless of hardships.
My daughters called me on Skype this morning when they awoke. Sage was still asleep. They let me know they would be going to their father's friend's house for Thanksgiving and that their step brothers were in San Antonio with each of their own fathers. The revelation disturbed me as I realised I could have spent time with my children this year for Thanksgiving instead of giving in to the requests of the now new wife.
My Thanksgiving was quiet. I ate hemp bread with Havarti cheese, avocado, and bell peppers in solitude this evening and waited for Mario to come home after his late shift at work tonight. He was tired yet made time for us to talk. Making time for each other is what matters most. It is what keeps people together. On this day of gratitude, I am grateful for my relationship with a man who understands me - sometimes. I am grateful with his willingness to do whatever it takes to keep what we have going indefinitely no matter the obstacles standing in our way.