walk home

'Why is there a cross on the side of the road', asked Sage. At first, I thought he was referring to perhaps a sign pointing the way to a church. It turns out it was one of those decorated white crosses marking the place where someone had died.

'Are dead people creepy?' he asked as I drove towards home. I was not sure how to answer that question. The discussion continued amongst the three in the back about 'white eyes' of the dead and such. Sometimes the things that go through a child's mind makes you stop and think and wonder.

'I don't want to die', continued my son. He then told me he wished he could always stay as small as he was and that I could stay the same as well. This is not the first time he has expressed his fear of dying. At six years of age he should be thinking of things other than of death.

As we continued our drive, I was focused on the evening when I could have grown-up time with my boyfriend on Skype to tell him about my day. My phone interview was better than I expected though naturally I was nervous. At the end I was told I would receive a call about an in-person interview at the end of next week.

At some point, we all have choices to make about our future. We must be serious about our intentions and not let unnecessary misunderstandings get in our way. We have to learn to keep our eyes on the focal point, on our goal for the future. We must learn not to get distracted but must keep going regardless of the decisions others make.

I never got to tell him about my day. I never got to learn about his day either. Our Skype session was cut short though I waited for hours for our daily conversation. Not quite sure what exactly had transpired in the span of a handful of minutes, I decided if things are meant to be they will look better in the morning. There is no use worrying about words said in haste.

Love is strange in that decisions we sometimes make are done so out of fear or simply out of misunderstandings. But when a love is real, we know that sometimes when words are spoken it is not because the other person has stopped loving you, rather one's focal point has shifted away from what truly matters. Life is too short to let misunderstandings get in the way of something which is meant to be.