Though I would have preferred to stay in my somewhat warm bed, I decided to get dressed and drive to the gym. It was 05:30 when I left. The temperature was minus five degrees Celsius with clear skies. Once home I had time to prepare oatmeal for breakfast and a sandwich to take to work with me.
During my lunch break I talked for one or two minutes with my husband. It is the busy season at work for us both but more so for him. Everyone around us talks about being with family during Christmas. Once again we will not be together on this day nor will I have the children until three days after Christmas.
The best I can hope for is to at least get a text message from the children on Sunday. If they are 'allowed' the time to do so. And I will talk with my husband though being together would be preferable to us both.
Then I wonder what is the point of my getting a tree this year. Christmas will be over by the time the children arrive and then they return to their father's house four days later. By the time this month comes to a close, I will have seen the girls a total of three and a half days and my son a total of ten days.
Somewhere there is an upside to all of the hardships of this year. There are lessons to learn. Ones of patience. Of waiting for our time where things will turn around for us. Not every day will feel like minus five. Cold, bleak, and dismal. Where all we wish to do is stay in bed until the sun comes out. Tomorrow is the gift of another day. Another chance to do better. One day closer to the end of our time apart.