NEVER CHASE

timmy and sage read

His hand was covered with small black dots. I asked him for an explanation but he refused to tell me. His sisters told me he was written up for it in his daily folder. 'Has been writing on self w/marker' said the note. I wondered what the big deal was and simply wrote 'OK' next to the teacher's note along with my initials.

After our snack of shortbread cookies and lemon sorbet, I asked Sage for more of an explanation. I gathered it might have something to do with seeking attention but wanted to hear what he had to say.

'She said she doesn't like me...nobody likes me' my son explained his ongoing dilemma at school. A girl at school who sits close to him told him she doesn't like him. I asked him what he replied. Nothing.

Most of the afternoon and right before bed I tried explaining to my son that he need not chase people. The right ones will come at the right time and will like him for who he is. I told him to try brushing off the comments, ignoring them, and moving on with his day at school. Or let them know it doesn't bother him that they don't like him. I realise it is easier to say than to do, especially for children, but I also realise this can happen at any age.

For me it is important that my son learns to stand up for himself and not let the cruelty and inconsideration of others affect his self-worth. He let me know he has only two friends. I told him it is better to have one or two good friends than ten 'not so good' friends or acquaintances. Never chase. True friends will stay with you no matter what.