last sunset

‘Don’t stress’ he repeated as we were finishing our phone conversation. I sent the landlord an email earlier in the day with the subject of ‘URGENT’ asking him how the Internet was connected in the house as I found no in-wall box for the cable modem nor any Cat5 outlets. He specified the cable needed for the modem was in the family room and that the previous owners had connected everything downstairs.

As I had already planned on having my computer upstairs in my room and had taken all of my equipment up the steep stairs, I panicked and stressed. Seeing how I had plenty to worry about at the old place, I had no time to figure out how to go about setting up my computer. It would have to wait until tomorrow.

The hours passed and progress was slow. I saw no end in sight and wished for the move to be done before nightfall. However, the sun set behind the mountains as I was on my fourth of seventeen window blinds to clean. Nineteen if you count the two in the upstairs bathroom. So far, I have completed five and doubt I will work on the rest seeing how I am still not out of this townhouse at 22,55h.

Meals were non-existent today, save for bread and ice cream, as I focused on the move. At one point, I started to think perhaps this was a foolish move. Maybe I should have simply paid the increase in rent. I am not sure the savings will be significant as I had to pay for movers and the gas for my car driving back and forth to move items I did not wish to pay the movers to move.

Other expenses include paying for lawn service at the next place and the increased water bill. What I saw was not my dream house but a yard for my children to play in after school. I envisioned us walking to school in the morning and walking back home in the afternoon. I did not think how things would change once I got a job. At the moment, the job issue is not a real issue as I will be at the current assignment one week more and have no further leads.

The sunsets and the amount of light coming in through the wall of windows I have given up, I continue to ponder. Access to the pool and walks around the ‘compound’ I am also giving up. Then I think how I almost never went to the pool nor took peaceful walks. The school bus picking up and dropping off the children was convenient. I stopped my thinking and continued packing and cleaning.

When we are stressed we tend to second guess ourselves. We wonder if what we are doing is the right thing to do. Whether or not the move was a foolish one remains to be seen. I never intended for either of the places to be long term but I hope soon I will find our ‘forever home’ where my boyfriend and I can settle down with the children for at least a while.