WANING PATIENCE

Nothing is as it should have been. Yet, somehow everything is the way it is supposed to be. Certainly, the way things are now is not ideal. It’s difficult not to feel lost when all of your belongings, the ones which made a home feel cozy, are far away. When all you are faced with is a soulless apartment. It is temporary, I have to keep reminding myself.

During the first month of our having our own place, I searched for a solution to make this feel more like home. I scoured the internet for less expensive replacements of a few pieces of furniture. I bookmarked the web pages and placed items in the online shopping carts. But none of it felt right.

I tried to convince myself that we needed to buy things in order to make ourselves feel better. About the leaving. About the current living place. I even went so far as to order a coffee table where we could eat whilst sitting on the floor. I also ordered a dining table which was marketed as a ‘computer desk table’. Finally, I chose a swivel chair which looked comfy.

However, upon opening up the box with the dining table, I noticed deep grooves and a funky smell. I didn’t need to take anything out of that box, or the other two boxes, to know that I would be returning everything. It was disappointing, but turned out to be a revelation. We didn’t actually need any of that.

Sleeping on a blanket on the hardwood/concrete floor is a bit of a struggle at times, but might be better with another blanket and extra pillows. Strangely, we’ve gotten somewhat used to the floor. Perhaps I will concede and buy a foam mattress later in the year. We need to travel light to our next destination. For the time being, we will make do with what we have. Our waning patience will need to settle for a while longer.