SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN

Once again, we find ourselves at the end of another month. A month closer to the end of the year, but not so close as summer slowly draws to a close.

Looking back on this past July, I note the frustrations of living away from everything familiar. Living without furniture, especially our mattresses. Without most of our kitchen equipment. Our dishes, pots and pans, and all of my baking pans. And my books. But most of all, my daughters. Even though we did not see them as often as I would have liked, it was still more than I get to see them now.

This experience feels as if we have one foot in Texas and the other one way up in the Pacific Northwest. It’s an unpleasant feeling. As if we are living somewhere in between. In between the past and the future. A future yet unknown.

This time last year, I still had my job of almost four years. I enjoyed working from home. I enjoyed being in a familiar environment, even as hot as it got most of the year in Austin. My son and I were still recovering from the move into our two-bedroom apartment, from the three-bedroom one on the same property.

Now that we are living in another apartment community, we notice how much more of a home that one in Texas felt like. We didn’t realise how nice that place was until we moved into this place. Albeit a brand-new apartment complex, this place now is far from feeling like home.

The quality of these apartments does not begin to compare to our place in Texas. The kitchen in our one-bedroom apartment is practically non-existent. There is no prep area. No island. We use the stove to cut up our vegetables and the dishwasher for storing the few things we managed to bring with us. There is no pantry or dining room. The living room is basically a pass-through to the patio which leads to a small patch of grass. The place is small and poorly designed. But that is irrelevant. We have to be here until my son graduates from high school. And then we leave.

In the meantime, I keep myself busy with my knitting. This month I have managed to double the amount I knit up last month. Next month, I hope to increase that amount even more.

This summer did not turn out as I would have liked. With the uncertain temp job and the continued issues with my car, we are unlikely going anywhere this summer.

On the bright side, we have a place to stay for now. This summer might be boring, but we’re already planning for a much better one next year.