on the fourth

By the time I reached my old neighbourhood, the sun had already set. I had hoped to capture a colourful sunset but was happy about the simple scene I saw in front of me. Cars passed me by in the opposite direction headed to the park for a glimpse of the fireworks. I had other plans which involved more of a solitary reflection of the freedom I now have.

The freedom is not one of being able to do whatever I please rather one of breaking away from the chains of an unhappy marriage filled with harsh words, disregard, and disrespect. It is not the freedom to move on with someone else rather a time to find oneself after years of being lost, though life sometimes gives you the added bonus of your finding someone when you least expect it.

Most of my day was spent out in stores in the effort to move forward. I realised I had waited too long to do and get certain things in order to facilitate this move. At the furniture store I was glad to see the lady who assisted me a few years ago. Early last summer I visited the store with my three children when I was already separated and looking for furniture for my children for the new, now old, place.

Though I did not purchase anything last year, I spent time since then waiting to see if I still liked the pieces selected. Moving forward for me means being able to create a comfortable home for the children and myself which meant we needed someplace to finally put our clothes. Finding a solution for my son involves going to Ikea to get something I know he would like and would match all of the grey in his room.

As I reflected on my current situation, I realised more work needs to be done in order to get to a more stable place in life but the freedom to live, to be happy, to move forward in life alone or with someone who loves you and values you for who you are is what life is about.